Growing Pains

There is a open position for a new branch manager for a small library the system is opening in Wrightsville. At first I must admit I was excited about the possibility of applying despite several reservations. 1) Wrightsville is about a 25 min drive from my house. The branch I work at now is about 15-20, so not much difference, but enough. 2) My daughter's father lives in Wrightsville, enough said. 3) The most important reservation: I dont feel like I'm ready to be a branch manager yet. I have now only been at CALS for 2 years. I'm only ankle-deep in my career. So, I'm going to take a pause for the cause, stand back and wait for time and luck to be more on my side. I also can honestly say that I still very much like my current position. I have been recently given more responsibilty which I also really like. The best is yet to come, however, and things are only looking up. I labeled this post growing pains, because I feel like that is what this transition feels like. Its a growing experience that can have a little painful edge to it, but its nothing that is unbearable. In fact, its not really painful at all, its more....subtle and settling almost. It's really hard to describe. At any rate, Im not making much sense, so I will end the post by saying this: Time is the one thing in the world that can never be truly redeemed. Therefore, I will use it to my advantage for if nothing else, fear of letting it control me or worst yet get away from me. That is a place I never want to go, not even for a visit.

Irritations-Warning!!! This is a gripe post

Have you ever been in just a mood that for personal reasons finds you irritated sometimes with the smallest infractions? Well if you have than you will understand my post today. My dismal monetary situation has not had me in the best of moods, and though I know it will get better and I will continue to put on a brave face its really starting to bother me. Not so much that not having money part, as the part of me feeling like I need to be making more money than what I am. I recently attended a committee meeting at a library in my system. One of the members is leaving the system taking a job out of state making probably considerably more than what she is making here in the very poor state of Arkansas. She has a MLS (masters in library science which is the same degree I have, and the degree that is ususally highly recommended and in most cases REQUIRED for the library field) People who have graduate degrees are definitally in the minority in the state of Arkansas. I think I read somewhere like only 7% of the population. Coupled with the fact that Arkansas is a poor state, I feel like I will be getting top out pay easily within the next 10 years. (at least thats what my ambition tells me) But that leaves me in the meantime waiting....and waiting.....AND waiting. Both for more responsiblity (aka upward movement) and pay (speaks for itself) On some days the attitudes and actions of others (either co-workers or patrons) can have me in a pensive mood. Being in this mood allows me to reflect on my situation from different angles. If an opportunity arose, of course, I would take it, despite my loyalist leanings to my branch. I have decided to make a concerted effort to make myself more visable in the system, so in the future when I apply for positions in management at least my face if nothing else about me will be known. I will let my work speak for itself, and in the interim continue to do my best work. Of course good and bad days are a given, but as long as one stay focus on the short-term goals while keeping long term goals in the peripheral,the only thing stopping you...is you. As FDR said, "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself."

Programming and some more stuff that's just on my mind

I am really liking the "Pre-School Pow Wow" program that I was recently part in charge. I recieved word that a academic academey may be bringing in a lot of small children to the programs next month, so I have been trying to adequately prepare ahead of time for them. As odd as this may sound, I have notice lately that I do some of my best thinking in my jacuzzi tub. Just the other night, I came up with a craft idea that I think will work well for 18 months-2 year-old toddlers. I think I might just try to do a series of crafts and call it "On a Stick." For example, on Valentine's Day we are going to do "Racing Hearts" on a stick. This is the only craft, that I think 2 year olds maybe able to handle. I was trying to decide if I should do away with the craft all together, for that age group, and just instead let the 3 and 4 year olds do crafts. But instead, the "On a Stick" concept I think will be successful. I also hope to maybe do some collaboration with the African-American book store across the street from the library to do a Black History program for the 3 and 4 year-olds. In the past, I have expressed some frustration with the fact that I feel like my degree has yet to yield me any fruit. Well, I think that 2013 maybe the year that at least some budding will appear. I am still more than confident in my abilities to do the best job I can, and despite occassional slips in judgement, I think my career is heading in the right direction. I have a tendency to second-guess myself, ALOT. However, I never seem to do it in the instances that I should. Nine times out of 10 when I know that what Im thinking about a certain procedure is right, I still ask anyway. I dont know why I seem to doubt myself, but I guess I just dont like giving out incorrect information and it coming back to bite me. I also try to be as nice and pleasant to be patrons and co-workers as I can. This can be hard to do for one particular co-worker, that due to upbringing and other factors cannot properly socialize with people and constantly takes out her anger and frustation of the world on those around her, making the work environment, at times, very tense. My additude toward her varies just as much as her mood swings. Sometimes I go out of my way to be nice to her, other days she gets on my nerves and her nasty additude can sometimes get under my skin. All in all though I put my best foot forward everyday, just thankful that I have a career that I love. After only 2 years, Im still very much a toddler myself in this field, but I have already felt that I have learned so much.